Which Presidential Candidate Would Win A 5K?

So it’s an election year. We hear tons of chatter about political races, who’s leading and who is dropping out. It got us to thinking…If our Presidential candidates did run a 5K race, who would win? This likely how it would go down:

7th Place – Chris Christie. Love him or hate him, he doesn’t exactly have that Kenyan body type. Gasses out 19 meters from the start line.

6th Place – Bernie Sanders. Drops to the ground at the 1 mile mark.  Still places first in the over 90 age group category.

5th Place – Hillary Clinton. She starts in the front of the pack, but eventually loses because of her limitations of running in a pantsuit.

3rd Place Tie – Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio – Both die of boredom in the 2nd mile listening to each other speak.

2nd Place – The Don, Donald Trump – Although he is completely out of shape, he is tough because he has been a Jerseyian for the past few years. He almost wins, but stops too often to brag about how magnificent his running is and losses at the finish.    don

Winner – Jeb Bush wins it in controversial fashion.  He won, but Barbara and big George carried him throughout the race.

If we missed a candidate, we are sorry, but we hate politics and only believe politicians exist so comedians can make fun of them.

Enjoy and remember…..Don’t Vote in 2016!!!

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Skip Haggerty

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