Why Runners Should Hate Frosty The Snowman

All runners should hate Frosty The Snowman. Here is why.

1. He’s a hat thief. For the rest of us, if we want some head wear, we go to a store and spend our hard earned money to purchase a hat. Not Frosty. He takes some random hat (that he certainly did not buy) and acts like it’s his own.

frosty hat

2. Blatant disregard for his role model status. I served as a recreation director for several years. I was always looking for creative and inspiring ways to get kids away from the Xbox and the TV. It’s always a struggle to get kids exercising instead of spending hours in front of the tube.

When I began watching this film, I was truly inspired seeing so many kids rallying around Frosty as they played outside and had a blast. I felt Frosty served as an inspiration for these kids. I thought of him as a true role model. These kids truly looked up to him and he was going to make a positive impact on their lives.

However, Frosty let us all down. What did Frosty do?… Did he take care of himself at all?  NO.

Did he make arrangements to sleep in a freezer? He sure didn’t.

frosty melting

He made no effort to do the right thing. He completely neglected himself. He let himself whether away to nothing and disappointed several kids.

You need another reason to hate Frosty??

frosty pipe

3.  Smoking. Frosty kept a corn-cob pipe in his mouth even while he played with the children. These kids are impressionable and truly looked up this mythical figure. However, he ignorantly kept the pipe in his mouth when playing with the kids. He basically advertised that smoking is cool. 443,000 deaths were attributed to smoking last year, however, Frosty failed to recognize this painfully obvious connection and broadcasted his love of smoking to children.

Therefore, if you are a runner, you should also hate Frosty as much as we do. He is a terrible influence on our children and the welfare of our nation’s future. Hey Frosty…You are a role model. It’s time to take responsibility for your behavior. You disappointed a ton of kids who thought the world of you. Man up!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

BE SURE TO CHECK BACK WITH US SOON. WE WILL BE DISCUSSING SANTA’S NEGLIGENCE OF NUTRITION AND EXERCISE! WEEE!

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About the author

Charlie Hoffmann
  • Kevin Bing

    That hat was a gift from the children. Indeed, it was the very thing that imbued him with personhood and agency in the firstplace. Shall Frosty be held accountable for actions that were committed before he had powers of locomotion or self awareness? I think not.

    And regarding his use of a pipe, in the words of Will Smith (who we know is a paragon of moral virtue) “It’s for the look, I don’t light it.”

    However, I think it’s fair to say that Frosty’s wilfull disregard to the instructions of a Police Officer are inexcusable, and thus, although I may disagree in detail, I’m forced to acknowledge the correctness of the sentiment of your article.

    • http://linkedin.com/in/coreywagner33 Corey@RunJersey.com

      I was also a little more understanding about the hat.

      The pipe is still inexcusable. The look IS the issue.

      All in all, frosty has some explaining to do…

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